Change. That’s what I feel about 2013 so far. The year after college is such a stressful and beautiful time all wrapped in one. One minute you are staying up til 4 am with your friends watching TV shows the next you are worrying about taxes and trying start a career in a totally different city away from everyone. The change was so abrupt and sudden that I went into a small depression. I thought I had it all figured out but I quickly realized that was not the case. So much uncertainty took place this year. A great deal of growing pains and trying to really find my place in this world. I guess you could say I had a quarter life crisis. Through this time though I gained a very valuable and somewhat harsh lesson - You can’t plan life and to not chase money. You can work toward goals, yes, but you can not create your timeline of life. It has to be something that should be lived and not contrived. Additionally, money is not the key to happiness. Yes, of course, I want to make money at what I am doing, but it should not be my main motivation. It should be a tool to help people and to also support yourself with your passion. I need to love and help people rather than focusing on myself and I felt like I lost track of that a little. Life goes by so fast. I was just 16 and am now making big “Adult” decisions that will literally affect the rest of my life. From this year, I learned to just be happy where you are and always stay humble. Graduating college does NOT make you an expert at life or secure a job. Also, it is TOTALLY ok to change your decision of what you want to pursue after you receive your diploma. I graduated in accounting and am now taking art and design classes a year later. I am so happy with the direction I am choosing and feel at peace with the decision. I do not plan on staying in school forever but I plan on gaining some technical knowledge about my interests to turn those interests into career building skills. This sudden change in my life has also forced me to change the way I market my photography. I am making a conscience effort to showcase work that I feel truly represents who I am. For a while I felt like I was copying other people or just shoot certain things just so I could make money at photography and “fit in” and was scared to show my true work because I was afraid there was no money in creativity or “different” work — who knows.
I guess I am writing this to just finally be totally vulnerable with everything. I always felt like I needed to have my life together but right now it is completely all over the place and I am ok with that. I am sticking close to the people that will encourage me and am also meeting new people to gain new perspectives on life. I am so grateful for this life of mine and just want to live it right.
PS The top photo is at Malibu Beach, CA
Bottom is under the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA
PSS I also want to thank my incredible parents(Family) and my wonderful girlfriend for being so patient with me on this journey.